I'm an upright, uptight Friendly boy
 And fanatic's my middle name.
 I'm a loyal sod who believes in God
 And I don't hunt glory or fame.
 I know we fight for what we know is right
 And it's noble to have bled.
 But when they told me, "Son, it's time to carry a gun"
 This is what I said:
 
 Chorus:  Well, I'm only sixteen, and my thoughts ain't clean
          And my faith is growing weak.
          Besides, I've got a wealth of things impairing my health.
          No, I'm not the boy you seek.
          It's also true I hold heretical views,
          Like I'm a whole lot safer in peace.
          Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm in divinity school
          And I'm dating the Elder's niece.
  
 All I hear and read says that our every deed
 Is guided by the Lord.
 But if God's will is gonna get me killed
 Well, that I can't afford.
 'Cause my only skin is the one I'm in
 And I guard it carefully.
 So take my suggestion, for an "ask no questions"
 Kind of soldier, ask not me!

 Chorus: